What does it truly mean to live a balanced life?
Does it mean incorporating yoga into your day? Does it mean eating healthy? Is one balanced when living a spiritual life? Or getting adequate sleep? Feeling productive at work and at home? Does it mean spending time with those you love and are important to you?
Well the simple answer is yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Living a balanced life means giving yourself the time to do whatever it is that fills you up!
Inherently as a working mom you are already a balancing act. You balance schedules, lists, to-do’s, time, needs of others, and prioritize them all the best that you can. However; the balancing act that occurs naturally can feel tiring or unfulfilling at times, and almost as if you are living two lives to pull it all off. It feels like you have your professional self that has to keep all your work in order and done in a timely manner. And then you have your actual self, the self that is mom, wife, friend, daughter, and well just YOU!
All of these versions of YOU have certain requirements and expectations and ultimately; a need to feel balanced.
Feeling balanced while living the working mom life includes a lot; maintaining a healthy lifestyle, filling your spiritual needs, spending time with those you love and make you laugh, and feeling productive at work and at home all contribute to living a balanced life. Incorporating all of things equally can be difficult to maintain, and overwhelming to think about how it can even be possible.
I don’t know about you, but I can get overwhelmed easily when thinking about balance. For a long time I felt like balance was something that needed to be achieved or I’d have to wait for…until the kids got bigger, or I had vacation time from work, etc….It would always seems impossible in my head to find a way to fit everything in that would lend towards achieving this “balanced life.”
I remember once feeling overwhelmed by setting a goal for myself to drink more water in my day. I felt like I was consumed with only thinking about how I’d fit in the time to drink this goal amount of water that I had set for myself. Then these thoughts would spiral and I’d get overwhelmed by thinking about the future, and having to always focus on consuming water, and reaching my goal.
This goal exhausted me before I had even really begun. It was terrible, in efforts to feel more physically healthy, and live a more balanced life all I wanted to do was incorporate more water into my day, and I was left feeling defeated before I even started the journey.
Can you relate? Has this happened to you before?!!?? I’m sure it has, because I can assure you that this is totally normal.
Understanding our Brain
Whenever we try or think about trying something new, our brains have a little freak out moment. The reason this happens is because our brain understands our current life, and it feels safe. Our brain thinks that since our current status of living has kept us alive thus far, why try something new that might risk any safety for our future.Which then causes us to think that this new change is a bad idea and we get overwhelmed in thoughts of fear, that hold us back from getting started. This is our primitive brain. It is acting in a way that is not rational (think back to era of cavemen and saber tooth tigers. This part of our brain still exists-and acts only to protect us and help us stay alive).
So now in the modern world this primitive part of our brain still will protect us from things that are truly unsafe or give us the energy to respond in emergency situations. However; it just isn’t relevant to have a role in our everyday lives, when we try something new that will have positive benefits and effects in our lives. In fact if not understood, this primitive part of our brain can hold us back from reaching new goals, trying new things, and ultimately feeling more balanced.
Ok…so lots of brain talk, kinda nerdy right…but that’s it I promise! I think understanding this part of our neurology will help us better respond to ourselves when we notice that our brain is having it’s little freak out moment, and then continue to proceed forward anyway.
Feeling Balanced
Feeling balanced is working to include all of the pieces of of what makes us feel most fulfilled. Actually trying to find to time to create more balance can feel overwhelming and might just feel like we’re adding one more thing to our list of; time we are already lacking, energy we’re low on, alone time that doesn’t exist, family time we’re longing for, sleep we’ve been deprived of….you get the idea.
Well I have good news for you! Feeling balanced doesn’t have to add to your stress, or be one more thing you need to squeeze in or make time for. I’d like to let you in on a few secrets that can help you to achieve the balance you are seeking now, and push through those feelings of overwhelm in the process.
Secret no. 1
Understand the process.
Understand that the feeling of overwhelm is totally natural and WILL happen when you try something new.
Just beginning to understand this, and accept it as part of the process to achieve more balance, will naturally calm that brain in your head that is having its mini freak out and allow you to proceed as intended.
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Secret no. 2
Take it easy on yourself.
Don’t we all have goals of waking up when our body feels rested, and then going to a morning yoga session in our matching and coordinated yoga outfit followed by eating nice healthy meals throughout the day, feeling energized and excited to come home and play with our kids in a nice clean house, followed by plans to go out and enjoy a fun concert and have an amazing diner with the hubs, all while having some accomplishments that we experienced throughout the work week that we’re still reveling in ?!?!?
I don’t know about you, but this day doesn’t exist for me…and probably will never exist for me! (I mean maybe if I really wanted it to exist for one day it could 😉 And this is OK.
It is ok, to not have perfect balance. Nothing in life is perfect! And that is the great thing about balance, it goes up and down; balance is the movement of in and out, up and down, side to side. We have to recognize that things are not perfect and don’t stay perfectly centered all the time.
For me this secret is everything. It helps me go easy on myself and not feel as badly when I feel a little off center. It helps me to realize and recognize that living a little off center is just part of the process and gives me the opportunity to incorporate more balce back into my life where I need it the most.
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Secret no. 3
When you begin to notice and feel a little less than balanced, get balanced! Do something that fills you up in the area that you might need it most.
When you begin to notice that you’re feeling less than balanced, think about what you need to feel more fulfilled. Not taking this time for yourself and creating a plan to fill yourself up to feel balanced can lead to negative thoughts and only lead to feeling even less balanced.
Getting balanced doesn’t have to take a lot of energy, time, or money. It can be something simple to swing you back into the direction of where you feel most joy and peace with yourself.
If you’re feeling that you’ve been living at work lately and not only want but need more family time in your life. Then do it! (I know, it’s not always that simple) .
A work best friend of mine shared this gem with me a long time ago, that I still find to be super helpful: ” It’s all about quality time baby.” Planning for quality time vs. worrying about the quantity can be just as balancing for you. Create a mini plan of something fun and exciting that you can do with the kids the moment you get home. Maybe it’s coloring with chalk on the driveway, or going for a nature walk on a new trail you haven’t explored before, or maybe it’s having them help to make a yummy dessert to have after diner (boxed brownies of course!)
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As we start to notice that we are feeling less than balanced and take small simple steps to fill ourselves back up, we are rewiring our brains and training them for this to be our new normal. Pretty soon, our brains will begin to stress less over the goals of feeling more balanced, and it will feel less overwhelming when we notice that we’re not feeling centered.
One last special secret from me to you
As a working momma, I understand that we have a lot on our plates. I know the work life balance that is always in our head and the feelings of guilt that ensue for not living up to someone’s expectations, or our own expectations for how things should or could go.
I’d like to share with you the idea that everything is just a season of life, it is not forever. This season that we are currently in won’t last forever, so we can either choose to be stressed while in, or choose to find and accept that balance is movement and it is not perfect; and truly enjoy all that this season of life has to offer.
Cheers to you as you find your un-perfect balance that brings you joy and fills you up!
-Kelly-
Ps…you don’t have to keep my secrets a secret. Feel free to share them with your best work friend, I’m sure she’ll appreciate that you did 🙂