Let’s just say it: Life can really suck sometimes!
I like to consider myself an optimist and find the silver lining in all of life’s toughest situations. However- – despite typically wearing my rose colored glasses, I can relate when clients tell me how life can really suck at times. I understand that life can and does throw us all unexpected curve balls, leaving us to figure out how to adjust, stay positive, and keep moving forward.
The good news is, we don’t have to navigate things on our own, or feel like we have to keep it all in, and pretend that life is perfect. I’ve found over the years, that clients reach out out for the support of counseling for a variety of reasons. Typically people reach out when something in their life has occurred, that is too much for them to cope with independently. Often times, when clients share with me about the stressor or life event that has brought them in to seek support, they also share how they’ve been struggling on their own for quite some ( often months or years–ah!!) while trying their best to cope, carry on, and hope that things would improve and….unfortunately —they haven’t.
What I have learned from over a decade of work with clients (and their families) is a few things. I’ve learned that people do the best they can with what they have. I’ve also learned that in our society, we still don’t support and encourage counseling as a tool for one’s self improvement, personal growth, and development rather; counseling is still seen as a tool that will “fix” things to make you feel better and should be used when one is at their lowest or has a mental health diagnosis.
The main objective for the work that I do, is to help reduce the stigma for reaching out and using counseling as a tool for only those with a mental health diagnosis or when crap really hits the fan! The way I see it- counseling should, and can be, a tool used for everyone to offer preventative support and alleviate both physical and emotional symptoms before they start to take a toll on us; preventing us from enjoying all that we are part of, work for, and want out of life.
Here you’ll find my top 3 reasons one should consider seeing a counselor and start feeling Your Stronger Self!
1. THE HAPPY BUT NOT HAPPY COMPLEX
When you begin to notice or feel that you aren’t living the life you’ve set out for yourself, or are portraying to friends and family that things are better than you truly feel inside-these are feelings that shouldn’t go unnoticed and are good indications that seeking the support of a professional will be useful. Living a life that is not authentic to who you are and how you feel inside can be toxic to your personal happiness, overall satisfaction, and spill into the relationships that you are a part of.
Why take the backseat in your own life, and wait to enjoy all that life has to offer? Seek the support of a counselor to help navigate what is holding you back from feeling your best, and start to get your authentic self back-you deserve it!
2. IT’S NOT ME IT’S THEM
Do you ever feel that the relationships you are part of often feel more one sided rather than a give an take? This can happen in our romantic relationships, friendships, with family members, and colleagues. Not only is this frustrating, but if not acknowledged and attended to, it can be detrimental to having strong and healthy relationships- not to mention ruin the fun in life!!! Relationships are the crux of what we need and are meant to bring us joy, fulfillment, and support. It is natural that we want and need to feel love the that we deserve. When we start to feel that the love we put out there isn’t reciprocated, this can not only be hurtful but it can snowball into other feelings that can reak havoc the relationships we are apart of. Often times, when one feels they are giving more in a relationship, they try to protect themselves from feeling this hurt by placing blame on others, isolating themselves, or lashing out to “communicate” the lack of concern, engagement, and support that is felt to be missing from the relationship.
Learning techniques to cope with these feelings and personally reflect on how you can take a new approach to your relationships; to find a greater sense of happiness is within your control. With the support of a trained counselor you can begin to better understand your role in the relationships you are apart of and learn new tools to better equip you in navigating them successfully to find the fun- and let go of what is holding you back from truly enjoying those you love.
3. BURNING THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS
Young professionals and working moms often try to take on the world, hustle, and balance more then time and life will allow. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to be motivated, accomplished, and serve others but it’s equally important to learn to recognize when our tank is getting low and how to best refuel to keep us feeling positive and enjoying all that we are apart of. When we burn the candle at both ends there isn’t room to actually enjoy life and this makes us feel more like robots just going through the motions of our own lives- -somehow I don’t think that is what is intended for us or what we intended for ourselves. Just going through the motions we are unable to truly feel fulfilled, additionally; it creates difficulty in connecting with those we love.
I know that taking the time out of our already busy schedules to talk with a counselor seems like the last thing that we would want to do however; the benefits of learning new perspectives and tools to find more balance can actually improve your production, time management, personal satisfaction, and overall sense of self-and maybe take things to the next level!
We Only Have One Life!
Make it everything that you want it to be! If you notice that certain areas of your life could use a little tune up, or maybe need some more attention to move you the direction you want to go, don’t waste your time hoping that things will improve on their own.Take the wheel and learn how to best navigate the life you want for yourself and consider the support of a counselor to support you in your journey now.
I think a quote from Nora Roberts, says it best:
“There’s no reward without work, no victory without effort, no battle won without risk!”
Take a risk, trust yourself, and see what life you can create for yourself and feel Your Stronger Self now.
As always, if you have any questions or feedback for me on the content I create please do not hesitate to reach out. I truly only want to provide content to you that is of value. If you have any suggestion for future posts, please feel free to pass them along!